Tag Archives: Taxes

What I really, really think about tax returns.

I got ripped off by the people who were given that power to protect me! I feel so betrayed, I feel like I have been so loyal(ish)!

I was shorted by a massive margin on my tax return, as the IRS  felt it necessary to “adjust” the amount of my return down to $143.

That’s it. That’s all I got.

Yes, I am definitely going to be calling that number to tell you, my dearest government, that I don’t agree with the changes you’ve made. Hope you didn’t spend my money, I’m gonna be need that back for beer, and the upcoming holiday, thanks!

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What I really think about tax returns.

Ahhh, feels so good to file your taxes. Though I probably should have gotten around to doing it about a month ago, I still feel pretty good about getting my tax return filed six weeks before Tax Day (my 14th favorite holiday).

Since filing them yesterday afternoon, I have been obsessively fantasizing about all of the things I can do with my $412. Of course, once I write them down they probably won’t seem so exciting, but fuck it! I’m still thrilled to be getting money that I almost didn’t notice I had lost. Of course, there is the inevitability that someday in the future I will actually owe the government money, rather than the other way around, but I’m going to choose not to think about that. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Anyway, my Tax Day List (not unlike a Christmas list!):

1. Save: I am going to try my darnedest to set aside some money as a base to save for moving in the somewhat near future. I am also going to attempt to save at least $50 for my second favorite holiday (next to Taylor’s birthday, of course) 4/20/2010!!

2. Go grocery shopping: Thrilling, I know, but I owe Taylor a fatty round of groceries for the both of us, cause she got this last one while I was waiting for my first paycheck. Plus, by the time I get my return I will be almost done with my vegan thing, and can splurge on some delicious things (brie, ice cream), unless of course the next three weeks are truly life altering.

3. Pay bills: We needn’t go into too much detail here, this is pretty dull and depressing and definitely self-explanatory.

4. Pay a debt: I have a couple of debts collected around town. : D Mostly, a movie rental chain (which will remain unnamed) totally fucked me over for the price of three DVDs at $150. How this makes sense, I do not know, but it consequently overdrew my bank account, etc. So I have decided to pay this bullshit off, and get it out of my hair.

5. Buy measuring cups!: I know, I know, you’re starting to wonder if I could be anymore boring or like your mother. Let me tell you, you’re probably right. But almost all of our measuring cups except one have been lost/broken/melted/chewed by the dogs. And if you were trying to make bread (three cups of water and six-and-a-half cups of flour) and all you had was a 1/3 cup measuring device, you’d be going crazy too. And fucking up your recipes cause you can’t keep count.

6. Buy a gift for Taylor: Ya know, something pretty. Or practical, by the looks of this list. But either way, something I will not disclose here, cause she’ll see it, and it’ll wreck the surprise (even though she claims to hate surprises anyway.)

7. Order some beer: Yup. But only because I want a damn six pack of Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat (featured in my Christmas list post), and the only place in Portland I’ve been able to find it is Henry’s. And though I love their selection of beer (as it is vast!), it is usually too crowded and loud and overwhelming for my introverted taste, plus two pints of the beer I want would probably the same price (or more) than I could pay to have it shipped to my doorstep, where I could enjoy it slowly, in the company of good friends.

8. Have a fun night out/date night: Like a movie or laser light show and maybe fancy dinner and dessert. Maybe a trip up to Rocky Butte to see the lights at night, a long drive out somewhere, a picnic. Something great.

And that is all I can think of for now, though I’m pretty sure that I just spent more money in my head than the return will be total, so maybe the saving bit will end up going out the window. : D

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