Ahhh another lazy, jobless day. I rolled out of bed just after one in the afternoon (this is acceptable if you went to be at 5 AM, right? RIGHT?) toasted myself a piece of bread, brewed a cup of tea (Earl Grey with vanilla and milk–YUM), and sat down with my best friend/one of my five roommates to watch Sex and the City, a lovely, easy TV on DVD catch-all.
And I have to say, as I’m sitting down here to write about relationships, an ongoing narrative is happening in my head–I can hear my own voice saying these words as I type them–and I feel like Carrie fucking Bradshaw herself. I’m not sure it’s all that it’s cracked up to be, but if I could live in her cute little apartment in New York with her great job, and channel all my funds not into Manolo Blahnik or Jimmy Choo, but into red wine and herb, this would be close to my dream life! Aside from her string of failed relationships and the fact that I really enjoy my drafty old Portland home, that is.
But! that is not what I intended to blog about. As I sit watching Sex and the City (alongside the rest of the collection seemingly endless TV on DVD that I have been consuming lately) I realize that this show is almost exclusively about relationships. And, come to think about it, relationships seem to be the central theme of almost every (popular) television show and movie. The characters are obsessed! It is all they think and talk about–what is wrong in their relationship or how they can get into one or who they’re pursuing or how they long to find someone. The happiness of their entire existence hinges on this one aspect of their life.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all single, and I’m happy about that, but for all of the right reasons. NOT because I don’t want to be alone, but because I was self-aware and in tune enough to know it was right, and to be right on my own before jumping into anything. And while I am lucky enough to be in a happy and loving relationship with a beautiful girl, I like to think that my life does not center itself around it. And before I knew my love, I didn’t spend all of my time thinking about girls and how to get one and how lonely I was and blah blah blah. I was happy by myself, and therefore knew that I could be in a relationship, and be able to be happy with someone else–truly appreciate them and love them, because I want to.
Anyway, this trend is really pretty saddening, to me. To think that our culture is promoting codependency. Ugh. I wish everyone could logically come to the same conclusion as me–that relationships are not a necessity of life, and that you CAN be happy without them, easily. You can be happy in yourself, in your head, your hobbies, your passion, your other important and lasting relationships and realize that romance is not something that life is obligated to give to you, but a privilege, a reward if you will.
I highly recommend, in fact, I encourage you to explore YOURSELF! Think about your wants, and your needs, be a little selfish, and invest some time in something just for yourself, that has nothing to do with finding a mate. Just because popular opinion has told you to find a mate (quickly before you get old and ugly and no one wants you!) and reproduce (get on it, before your body can’t anymore!) does not mean that this will make you happy. Just keep that in mind, the next time you sacrifice a part of yourself for “love” or obsess over a crush or get down on yourself for being unattractive and clingy and dull and decide to just go eat worms.
But, that’s just my opinion, sorry if I sound like your mother.