Tag Archives: Mess

What I really think about the wind.

Hey, wind, you’re an asshole. Quit making it so fucking cold, and quit pushing my car every which way while I’m trying to get from point A to point B safely.

And please, if you wouldn’t litter the road and sidewalk with all of those branches, and it would also be polite if you’d refrain from knocking the porch swing off the porch and into the fence–I think it irritates the neighbors, and that thing is heavy, you bastard.

I won’t even get into the mess you made when I was wearing that little dress the other day, let’s just call that one an accident.

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