Tag Archives: Herb

What I really think about graham crackers and frosting.

In case (in the space of time between now and when you were eight) you have forgotten how delicious a graham cracker-frosting sandwich is, remind yourself.

Nearly every time I visit my  mother (who lives only about 25 miles away from me) she inevitably sends me home with some food and/or random item she thinks I may need. A few weeks ago, this meant graham crackers, frosting, and the offer of a rolling pin (but I told her I could spring for my own).

Why? you ask? Because  a few weeks before that, her sixth grade class had made gingerbread projects as a holiday/geometry project, and she consequently had graham crackers and yellow frosting coming out of her ears. I told her I guessed I could be troubled to take them off of her hands, and then giddily skipped home to snack on one of my childhood favorites.

In case you don’t know how this is done, here is the recipe (heh heh heh):

Ingredients/Supplies

1 package of graham crackers

1 container of cake frosting (I infinitely prefer chocolate)

A knife (optional)

Some weed?

Instructions

1. You’ll probably want to roast a bowl, or two, or three;

2. Maybe put on some South Park? Or any other adult cartoon. Or children’s cartoon, for that matter;

3. Open the box of graham crackers and the container of frosting (beware–these are both two steps in one, as the graham crackers are in a box and have a plastic wrapper, and the frosting has a plastic, reusable lid and a foil covering that you must peel back–complex shit, I know);

4. Choose a graham cracker, and break it in half (I prefer the two square halves, but you could always break it lengthwise for a looooong rectangular sandwich–fun!);

5. Now, using your knife (or finger) spread some frosting on one of the halves (you can choose, a thin layer or a liberal amount) and top the frosting with the other half of the graham cracker (if you’re really baked and lazy, you can quarter your graham cracker and dip it in the frosting, but I think the sandwich allows the full flavor and effect);

6. Tah-dah! Graham cracker-frosting sandwich!!! Enjoy!

Variations on this recipe include: substituting cookies for graham crackers, substituting ice cream for frosting, adding other candies/sweets into the middle of your sandwich.

Tee hee hee…

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Filed under Recommendations.

What I really think about math homework.

Let me tell you, if I am ever thinking about how much I miss high school, all I have to do is try to solve a couple of math problems, and I’ll remember that only sadists and masochists enjoy high school. I suppose that the thought of P.E. class turns me off almost equally, especially with my lung capacity at what it is. But, regardless, as I sit here trying to compute, I remember what my beef with math is: I have never been able to fully grasp mathematical concepts. I have gripped the edges or beginnings or some parts of it, and have always felt like the answer was right in front of me and I was just missing it, not seeing or remembering something, and that is the most frustrating thing.

I am sitting down in the basement of my house, on the floor on a rug, room dimly lit, tapestries all around, my best friend next to me tinkering on her guitar, playing familiar folk songs, but whistling in place of the lyrics–I’m feeling all kinds of bohemian as I scribble down craziness and jibberish in my notebook (nevermind that it is actually not creative writing, but just me trying feebly to find the answers to simple mathematical problems assigned to my friend, who is going back to school to get her diploma.

But my methods are rusty, to say the least, and even when they were fresh, I was never very good at wrapping my head around any of it. It has been two years, or more, since I have done anything more than simple math, and even then the math was simple, nothing I couldn’t eventually circle my way around to. Maybe it’s the herb that’s working against me, but I think that it was actually (previously) keeping me super-focused and ultra-interested, ha. Really though, I think that there was a lack of interdisciplinary education, because seeing something in terms of something else, a comparison, helps to give perspective, and that helps you understand what mathematics is, and why it is significant, and how it applies to other things (ie: literature, science, nature, everything), something I did not figure out until college. Mathematics was simply memorization for me.

I can respect it, but never grasp it fully, and since I have to hate what I don’t know (right?!) I’d rather be without math, and off with it’s head! But I’d better press on, and try to help out a little more. It’s got to be rattling around up there, somewhere.

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Filed under Belly-aching., Critiques., Thoughts.

What I really think about your bong.

Triple percolating so you feel like you’re getting the cleanest, smoothest, least toxic toke–it’s overcomplicated, and too hard to suck on, and sometimes I’d just like to pass the pipe instead, cause it feels communal and doesn’t set my lungs ablaze.

Okay?

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Filed under Belly-aching.