After avoiding the Facebook breast cancer post-your-bra-color extravaganza, I gave in to the evils of fads and doppelgangers week. Equipped with the ever-so-handy celebrity look-alike generator on MyHeritage.com, I picked out a straight-on, full-faced picture of me that seemed to be the best representation, and uploaded it. I excitedly waited for my matches with Taylor, wondering if I would get Reese Witherspoon (who people always say I look like) or one of the Olsen twins (who people used to say I looked like as a child).
Finally, after almost more time than I could stand (I mean come on, high speed internet, really?!) my matches finally popped up! As we scrolled through them, my matches were increasingly disappointing and, for the most part, male or Asian (including Daniel Radcliffe AKA Harry fucking Potter).
Obviously, after this I was seriously disenchanted. I decided I was nowhere near cute (or thin?) enough to post a picture of either of the Olsen twins or Reese Witherspoon, out of fear that people would scoff and think me conceited. So I posted no picture, and just an update to the effect of: Tried to find her doppelganger via MyHeritage.com, and her best matches were either Daniel Radcliffe (??) or Asian and/or male. So, no go, I’m just free to be me.
Needless to say, the post got a couple of responses, one from Taylor’s brother, who informed me that he thinks I look a little bit like America Ferrera, and the other from a friend who agreed. I googled her, of course, and browsed through a few images before deciding that she, too, was a little too pretty for me to presume her to be my doppelganger, and picked a picture of her in her show “Ugly Betty.” Though I am neither Hispanic nor have braces, some of the facial features and the glasses reminded me of myself.
But I wasn’t satisfied.
I googled “Reese Witherspoon” (not quite me), so I googled “fat Reese Witherspoon” (apparently there is no such thing), so (remembering her in Election) I googled “young Reese Witherspoon.” Tah-dah! I found a picture I was content with (similar to the one on the left), and cropped it a little, and called it a day.
But I still feel silly… And… I guess I would rather just be me… Ha.
Needless to say, we fiddled around on MyHeritage.com all day. My friend Casey who got Mother Teresa as her number one match (an aged Mother Teresa at that) when all she really looks like is our friend Jessa (or so we’ve heard), and Jessa’s match included Halle Berry and Madonna, neither of whom she looks like at all (we have since decided that their system is seriously flawed, aside from several matches here and there that were fairly close). Of course, this brought us to search for other celebrity look-alike generators, which led me to stumbling upon the greatest and the creepiest website of all time.
MakeMeBabies.com !! Holy shit.
Naturally, I matched my picture with pictures of all of my friends that were readily available (and some that were not), and picked out a frame and gender (or no gender) and name, and a picture of our child (“Little _____”) was generated and framed. I even matched myself up to see what my love child with Miley Cyrus would look like (trashy, and not cute).
See! Today, I did a damn good job using this period of joblessness.