Tag Archives: 4/20

What I really think about this cold.

So far, it hasn’t totally taken me over (yes, I just knocked on wood.) And yet still, the sensitive lungs, sniveling, nose-blowing, explosive sneezing, and sore throat are no real delight. I am exhausted from fighting off this cold bullshit and all the while attempting to altogether ignore Christmas… so tired I can’t even get up and go to bed.

I largely blame college for my pumped-up immune system. While living in a dorm I think I got and passed around more illnesses than ever before–and I don’t mean that in a slutty way at all. But I do think it super-boosted (yeah, I made that up) my immune system. How nice, you might think, to so rarely get sick. No! It has made me soft!

I’m just a big common cold pussy.

I guess it’s a hazard of the trade–what I get for passin’ the peace pipe with sickos.

(Don’t worry Alisha, you were so worth it.)

 

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What I really think about Christmas.

Oh, yeah, it’s that time of year again. Time for the holiday bitch.

Every single time December 26th rolls around, I let out a massive sigh of relief and continue to demolish a large pile of holiday chocolates, crossing my fingers that this day will go away forever.

So far, I have been unlucky. Christmas still lurks in the shadows, right around the corner from Thanksgiving, (one of the best holidays of all time) an impending doom.

In all honesty, with the amount of holidays we celebrate and observe, I wonder how many I actually care about. And so, I have formed a list of my favorite holidays.

1A. If Taylor is asking, her birthday is my number one favorite holiday!

1B. But for all intents and purposes, 4/20 is my all-time favorite holiday. This had to be somewhat expected, as the celebration of this day just includes an over-indulgence in one of my favorite hobbies (habits).

2. I love Thanksgiving Day. Another excessive day, only this time it’s the gluttony that I find so pleasing!

3. New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day–honestly, I don’t care that much. This is a holiday that is not unlike a birthday. There goes another year, and yet I don’t feel any different… However, it does sometimes feel like a renewing, fresh start, and there is usually a great party involved and your neighbors are willing to forgive you for having loud, screaming, drunk people peeing in your yard in the middle of the night.

4. For a little Latin flavor: Cinco de Mayo–for lack of anything better and because, really, any excuse to drink margaritas.

5. Earth Day, because who doesn’t love a little trash clean-up?

6. I guess, but really just because I feel like I should have more on the list, I’ll include Halloween. I have actually found that I kind of hate carving pumpkins (still) and I usually get drunk and eat too much candy, and can’t be bothered to give any away to the costume-clad little children running up onto the porch while we holler and smoke cigarettes. Also, as an alternate form of amusement, this last Halloween someone drove into my neighbor’s house–sad, but at least interesting.

The holidays that certainly did not make the list:

1. Christmas— oh you are so evil. You twist my arm into going to church, rob me blind of my hard earned money (and there is never much of it), and force me to see members of my family who I would prefer to forget about. Oh, and I forgot to add to that list the wretched music and the ridiculous decorations. Of course, I do get to hand out a few modest, well-thought-out gifts to people I love, and I do get to spend time with some great family, and so you have (very) few redeeming factors.

2. Mother Teresa’s Birthday (oh, yes, by the way, this is also my birthday.) A day that is usually built up and yet so very anti-climactic. Usually brings feelings of loneliness, some sadness (“Why hasn’t my mom called?”), the inevitable doing of chores, because you were so sure you had to day all planned out, and in it’s execution you find… it’s just another day.

3. Veteran’s Day/President’s Day/Labor Day/etc.: What strange holidays… Maybe the bank is closed, the library, the post-office… I usually don’t get paid time + a half for working them, and there are no parties. Plus, anymore, people don’t really observe them. Maybe in passing, or in a classroom, or (and more because of the good weather) you have a barbecue.

4. Independence Day: Or, less formally, the 4th of July. There isn’t much to say. I love the food, but overall wish the day would burn down–which I don’t feel would be so hard, perhaps we could accidentally shoot it with a firecracker.

5. Easter: I have more than strayed from the religion with which I was raised, and so this holiday has just become silly. Trying to find colored eggs, either hard-boiled or plastic and filled (and anymore, they put healthy treats in), never really made sense to me, and now that I’m “too old” to participate, it’s even more ridiculous. I guess I enjoy brunch, but church? No, thanks.

The moral of the story is… Well there really isn’t one, and I’m tired of typing and don’t feel like really concluding. But, Christmas sucks! And I wish there was no such thing as holiday obligation. Or Catholic guilt. Eek.

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What I really think about tax returns.

Ahhh, feels so good to file your taxes. Though I probably should have gotten around to doing it about a month ago, I still feel pretty good about getting my tax return filed six weeks before Tax Day (my 14th favorite holiday).

Since filing them yesterday afternoon, I have been obsessively fantasizing about all of the things I can do with my $412. Of course, once I write them down they probably won’t seem so exciting, but fuck it! I’m still thrilled to be getting money that I almost didn’t notice I had lost. Of course, there is the inevitability that someday in the future I will actually owe the government money, rather than the other way around, but I’m going to choose not to think about that. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Anyway, my Tax Day List (not unlike a Christmas list!):

1. Save: I am going to try my darnedest to set aside some money as a base to save for moving in the somewhat near future. I am also going to attempt to save at least $50 for my second favorite holiday (next to Taylor’s birthday, of course) 4/20/2010!!

2. Go grocery shopping: Thrilling, I know, but I owe Taylor a fatty round of groceries for the both of us, cause she got this last one while I was waiting for my first paycheck. Plus, by the time I get my return I will be almost done with my vegan thing, and can splurge on some delicious things (brie, ice cream), unless of course the next three weeks are truly life altering.

3. Pay bills: We needn’t go into too much detail here, this is pretty dull and depressing and definitely self-explanatory.

4. Pay a debt: I have a couple of debts collected around town. : D Mostly, a movie rental chain (which will remain unnamed) totally fucked me over for the price of three DVDs at $150. How this makes sense, I do not know, but it consequently overdrew my bank account, etc. So I have decided to pay this bullshit off, and get it out of my hair.

5. Buy measuring cups!: I know, I know, you’re starting to wonder if I could be anymore boring or like your mother. Let me tell you, you’re probably right. But almost all of our measuring cups except one have been lost/broken/melted/chewed by the dogs. And if you were trying to make bread (three cups of water and six-and-a-half cups of flour) and all you had was a 1/3 cup measuring device, you’d be going crazy too. And fucking up your recipes cause you can’t keep count.

6. Buy a gift for Taylor: Ya know, something pretty. Or practical, by the looks of this list. But either way, something I will not disclose here, cause she’ll see it, and it’ll wreck the surprise (even though she claims to hate surprises anyway.)

7. Order some beer: Yup. But only because I want a damn six pack of Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat (featured in my Christmas list post), and the only place in Portland I’ve been able to find it is Henry’s. And though I love their selection of beer (as it is vast!), it is usually too crowded and loud and overwhelming for my introverted taste, plus two pints of the beer I want would probably the same price (or more) than I could pay to have it shipped to my doorstep, where I could enjoy it slowly, in the company of good friends.

8. Have a fun night out/date night: Like a movie or laser light show and maybe fancy dinner and dessert. Maybe a trip up to Rocky Butte to see the lights at night, a long drive out somewhere, a picnic. Something great.

And that is all I can think of for now, though I’m pretty sure that I just spent more money in my head than the return will be total, so maybe the saving bit will end up going out the window. : D

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